The Adventures of Nancy the Dreadnaught, Ch 4: Baby Ships, Annoying Corsairs, and a Frustrated Mid-Level Assassin.
The best part is after Grandpa's Doo Doos.
Hi Folks!
I'm sorry that this is a little late--I've been trying to figure out how to illustrate this story. So today I took out the watercolors that I had never gotten around to using and decided to create an illustration for this chapter! :)
I kind of like it! It goes over the events in the next chapter. I started out with this sketch:
And then, I just had a little fun with the colors. :)
At the moment, Nancy is a School Ship, so she's school-bus yellow. Usually, she's much flashier/more intimidating than that. I also wanted to make her a little derpy, yet actually a dreadnaught--capable of real destruction.
I basically ended up with 1 part Jules Verne Nautilus, 1 part Battlestar Galactica, and 1 part Space Battleship Yamato.
On another note--Regarding Nancy's song today. I am apparently one of the 42 people on the planet who had not heard of "Baby Shark," which is our continuity's closest approximation to her "Baby Ship." Here it is.
Enjoy.
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Chapter 4
Baby ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Baby ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Baby ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Baby ship!
Sometimes, changes in life weren’t as bad they seemed to be, or even appeared, thought Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship.
Slowly, they had been cruising to the edges of the Kara-Val Empire, toward the field trip on Azamon Prime.
But that was a long way off, and Miss Bunn informed them that for now, it was best to establish the school and look after the children.
At the moment, Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship was performing on the former “Nancy the Dreadnaught’s Sparkling and Groovy Galactic Stage,” which was now “Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship’s Sparkling and Groovy Galactic Stage and Playground.”
Mommy ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Mommy ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Mommy ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Mommy ship!
The former Pacifier/Executioner was dressed in a cute idol-cutely-acting-as-a-starship outfit.
She enjoyed this because she was in her smart, yet sporty human form, and up until now it had been very rare that she had the chance to dress up as her starship form while she was in human form.
Daddy ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Daddy ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Daddy ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Daddy ship!
She had complained about this to Captain Eyrus earlier, but they said they Nancy did not understand.
If she a starship form needed, couldn’t she could just a starship be? Why a starship projecting a girl playing a starship--when one a starship already was?
Captain Eyrus was many things. Some of them Nancy would rather not know about.
Ha! Whatever! Now we see who finally laughs last! Nancy thought triumphantly. And that somebody is me!
Grandma ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Grandma ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Grandma ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Grandma ship!
The children especially loved when she changed her voice to match the characters and their doo doos. Baby ship doo doos, mommy ship doo doos, daddy ships doos doos, then grandma ship doo doos and grandpa ship doo doos.
But the children could also be demanding. She could not mix up the order--some of them would start yelling if Nancy mixed up grandpa and grandma.
Grandpa ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Grandpa ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Grandpa ship! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Grandpa ship!
And of course, she had to sing every last doo doo.
The children wanted everything sung in exactly the same way, every time. It could not be a replay, not even a perfect reproduction.
Which was strange, peculiar even. Nancy had to sing it live, even though Nancy was a machine.
Once, Captain Eyrus called her to an emergency meeting while she was onstage. Nancy tried to use a playback of a previous show, but the children had immediately started crying.
Miss Bunn was not pleased. And the emergency meeting ended up being Captain Eyrus needing to discuss an awkward medical procedure concerning awkwardly placed boils.
Go to War! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Go to War! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Go to War! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Go to War!
But all of this did not make Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship her feel sad or unhappy—in fact she loved it! For those reactions of the children reacting meant that the children were paying attention to her.
When they were happy, she was it was because of her!
To be honest, when she was Nancy the Dreadnaught Dreadnaught, it would seem on some nights that her passengers wouldn't have noticed if she had been playing a recording at all.
As the days turned to weeks, the crew adapted to their new roles remarkably well. The children’s basic diet consisted mostly of prepackaged, organic, non-GMO, plant-based, allergen-free nutrition packs from Valium.
The culinary staff had protested, until Miss Bunn informed them that none of the children actually liked the prepackaged, organic, non-GMO, plant-based, allergen-free nutrition packs from Valium—and if they might use their expertise to make the healthful-yet-yucky meals-in-a-bag more appealing.
Kill them all! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Kill them all! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Kill them all! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Kill them all!
And so, some of the finest chefs in the Imperial fleet of the Kara-Val Empire eagerly took it upon themselves to make everything look and taste like spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
Meanwhile, Captain Eyrus and the executive staff were now in charge of the playground activities, like dodgeball and foursquare and Simon Says.
Captain Eyrus, however from Simon Says was announcing banned.
The only detail that Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship found curious was the actual schooling.
All classwork being handled by Miss Bunn and Commander Doctor Tommy Threetone 978641-Ten. No one else—not even Captain Eyrus or Nancy herself—was permitted view the class.
Still, Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship wasn’t too concerned. Everyone had their jobs, and she had powerful secret weapons she couldn’t wait to use to obliterate enemies with—when the time came.
For now she was a star!
Kara-Val! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Kara-Val! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Kara-Val! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Kara-Val!
The children clapped and called for more! But, of course, they had to go back to class with Miss Bunn, who ran the day's schedule with like clockwork.
Nancy watched them skip happily away. Family, biology, war, victory, and the glory of the Empire! My goodness, whoever wrote that song was a genius!
But one child wasn’t skipping to follow Miss Bunn.
Annika Snowpea. She was always quiet during these shows. Nancy had noticed this of course. After all, it was her job to be happy and sparkly for everybody.
But when she had asked Miss Bunn about this earlier, the merciless Imperial bunny assassin told her that Annika Snowpea would be fine.
However, this most definitely did not look like fine.
“You are Annika Snowpea,” Nancy said.
“Yes. And you are Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship,” Annika Snowpea said, somehow voicing the strikethrough text, as well.
“Do you not like that song?” Nancy said. “It is okay not to like it. I don’t mind.”
Actually, Nancy did mind, but she remembered the training webinar, and the requirements of the Kara-Val Empire Intergalactic School District, “Where Children Are the Brightest Stars!”
“Really, Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship?”
“Yes, Annika Snowpea.”
The child looked at her feet.
“Nancy the Dreadnaught School Ship…do you have a Mommy Ship and a Daddy Ship?”
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Ah. So that was it.
“Yes, I do. They were amazing dreadnaughts. They helped me when I was sad, and took care of me when I needed repairs… I met them when I first entered the Imperial Fleet of the Space Empire of Kara-Val.”
“But you said they were your Mommy Ship and Daddy Ship. Didn’t they make you?”
“Ships are made in Imperial shipyards in places like Star Port Gamma in the Fresno System. We decide our families later. Some ships have three parents. Some have one. Some just have siblings. Or aunts and uncles. It is up to the ships.”
Annika Snowpea looked thoughtful.
“I wish I could be a Dreadnaught,” she finally said.
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“There you are!”
Nancy turned to see Miss Bunn rushing toward them.
“You have an important lesson today, young lady, remember?”
Annika Snowpea fell silent.
“Miss Bunn. Please.”
“Commander Doctor Threetone is waiting. Didn’t I tell you that you have a critical role for this mission?”
“Miss Bunn. Please.”
Miss Bunn stopped and glared.
But Nancy smiled and patted Annika Snowpea on the head. “Why don’t you go to class? We can talk later if you want, Annika Snowpea.”
“Yes, Nancy the—”
“Just Nancy, that is fine.”
“Yes…Nancy.”
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Miss Bunn and Nancy watched Annika Snowpea as she left.
“Now Miss Bunn, before you reprimand me, please note that the Kara-Val training Webinar clearly states that we must place the welfare of a child above all—"
“I know. Yes, I know. I’m sorry.”
“Miss Bunn?”
“Annika Snowpea lost both parents as a child. I suppose…she’s a child now…”
That didn’t make sense. But Miss Bunn was Miss Bunn. At least she was not angry.
But she did not look happy. Or relaxed. Or even okay.
“Miss Bunn, have you been getting enough sleep?”
“W-why do you ask?”
“Because you do not look happy. Or relaxed. Or even okay.
“Nancy the Dreadnaught—”
Whatever Miss Bunn was about to say was drowned out by an alarm.
“RED ALERT! RED ALERT!”
Nancy flickered as she accessed her sensor data.
What? How?
“Nancy? What is it?”
Three incoming ships. Corsairs, Langostino class. Judging by their vintage gaming T-shirts and floppy bangs, they were likely from Edgelord Alliance, a loose group of self-important pirates and mercenaries that pestered the suburbs of the Imperial Empire.
A properly armed dreadnaught would easily defeat three corsairs. But Nancy was no longer a properly armed dreadnaught.
“Nancy, you this monitoring are?”
“Yes, Captain Eyrus.”
And then came a message.
“Unidentified Kara-Val dreadnaught! Cease thy insignificant prattle! We have scanneth thy ship and knoweth that thee are devoideth of weapons and means to defendeth thyself. Knowest thou that darkness and woe is nigh upon thee!
“REPEAT. Knowest thou that darkness and woe is nigh upon thee!
“Resist and we will destroy thee in a deliciously...delicious manner. Preparest thou to be boarded and despair!”
“REPEAT. Preparest thou to be boarded and despair!
Yes. They were Edgelords.
*WORM
Next Week--TBA!